Hello sweet peas,
I have become quite philosophical over my Easter break if you hadn’t noticed with my last blogpost. I think being at home for two weeks has given me time to think about things, the things that matter most to me. My family, my friends, my boyfriend and my wellbeing. Seeing as I have lived for 19 years now, I thought I would write a short letter to my younger self about things that worried me at the time but now, do not matter at all.
If you knew by this point that you had managed to successfully pass GCSES, A Levels and survive your first year at university, I think you would have laughed with relief. I know that to achieve anything, you have to work hard. People say you are clever but you know deep down that you have to work hard, and I mean really hard to achieve what you want and what you’re expected to achieve. But don’t fret, don’t have a ‘Poppy Panic’ as your old English teacher used to say, you’ve been doing so well and at the moment everything is fine. Sometimes I wish you hadn’t lost touch with some of your friends the way you did because since them, I don’t think you have cried so much with laughter. Yet you still have new and old friends who are equally as loving and fab, and have other qualities the ones that left didn’t. Did you know you were at times, spiteful and didn’t think before you spoke? You still struggle with that to a lesser extent but you’re only human. Anyway, I would say you are a kinder person now than before, more attentive to others and less judgemental. It is a lengthy transition but you eventually get off your high horse and stop acting like a snob about everything. Hah not about everything, you still need to work on that too. The people you have surrounded yourself in your years as a young adult have humbled you even though you still make mistakes. Sometimes it’s best to not worry so much, because you’re really good at that, and just get over it. It is easier said than done I know, but all the pain and sleepless nights you go through really isn’t worth it. There will be many tears but also many moments where you could burst with joy. Remember how you felt after your first broken heart? Young love is a funny thing and you’ll eventually realise that wasn’t real love but I think you might have found it now with someone truly special. You just wait, he is something else. You are a happy person, that is for sure and will soon realise the true value of family. I bet you wouldn’t believe me if I said you and mum were close now. You never had the super close confiding relationship with mum and still don’t, however you are more alike now in your interests and actually have conversations instead of just being moaned at. I can’t chat for too long because you still have plenty of other things to be doing like revising for exams in May. Yes, you still over the top freak out about exams and there will probably be tears but I think you are a better person now so hopefully you’ll take them in your stride and be pleased with results.
Love Poppy x